By the time those prawn nigiri sushi pass me for the sixth time, I really begin to feel their pain. Sitting on a small, blue-rimmed plate, entrapped beneath a clear plastic dome, the sorry pair, desolate and unloved, seem resigned to an eternity spent upon the vast, ponderous conveyor belt that rolls by before us. It was like a piscine Groundhog Day, only with a fraction of the laughs, and Bill Murray’s crumpled features replaced by the soft pink and white of a crustacean’s backside. The salmon, according to Yo! Sushi's website, is 'happy'. It's floppy and wan and warm We’re sitting in Soho’s Yo! Sushi on a busy weekday lunch, watching various Japanese greatest hits trundle past on the aforementioned belt – a few flaps of lurid orange salmon sashimi, followed by salmon nigiri (a lozenge of vinegared rice, topped by stuff, usually raw fish), then rolls filled with salmon and avocado, and some strange, pastel-coloured

Japanese sweets that I’d cross continents to avoid. then those wretched prawns. So how do I know this exact plate passed me half a dozen times? I’m clocking a freshly made version of the same dish, put together by the hardworking folk in the middle of the belt. Well, using my brilliant and hard-earned skills of surveillance and subterfuge, I came up with a dastardly scheme – pushing the lid off by a fraction and counting how many times the plate passed by. The cooked prawn nigiri sushi are cold and overcooked, but again, not offensive. And if you like sushi rolls, which I don't, they won't frighten the geegees Anyway, I remember eating in Yo! Sushi when it opened here in 1997. the fluorescent-tinged, Tokyo-tinted excitement! The wacky font, the wanton and extravagant use of exclamation marks. taps for still or fizzy water, even a button with which to summon yourIf I wasn’t exactly burned by the white heat of technology, I was

In those days when sushi was a rare and precious treat rather than a supermarket staple, the food was certainly secondary to the rabid Japanophilia that surged through my veins. Although I was probably deeply, deeply impressed, 17 years later I’m simply bored. disgusted, nor delighted, just left unmoved, and a little depressed, by the bog-standard, mass-catered, bog-average feel of pretty much every Here they take Japanese comfort food and demean it to the level of a supermarket ready meal Because, when it comes to nigiri sushi and sashimi, average just ain’tThere’s either good, or don’t bother. I’ll spare you the over-romanticised paeans to the art of the true sushi chef. of training needed to simply mutter ‘fish’, let alone slice it; importance, in nigiri sushi, of the rice; the astronomical prices paid by the best sushi joints for the very finest, freshest cuts. don’t go to Yo! Sushi expecting the sort of raw fish that made Mr Jiro

And to be fair, the nigiri rice is fine – warm, with a whisper of vinegar, and not overcooked.The salmon, according to the website, is ‘happy’. and wan and warm. Not cloyingly fatty, like the very sorriest specimen, but a long way from happy. The cooked prawn nigiri sushi are cold and overcooked, but again, not offensive. And if you like sushi rolls, which I don’t, they won’t frighten the geegees. Am I alone in being offended by this joyless, half-assed excuse of a lunch? sushi in mississauga near square oneThe place was packed, so perhaps I amsushi grade fish facts As for the rest, well,sushi to go bucuresti there’s a curious absence of pork on the menu. where to get sushi grade fish dallas

The Japanese love their pork – and do wonderful things with it. I love it too. even an oink, which means that chicken takes the role of pig. aren’t bad – they’re crisp and properly fried (although real gyoza should be cooked in a pan, not deep fryer), but the filling isA steamed bun is stuffed with duck in a Chinese Hoisin sauce – wrong country, but it does, at least, register on the taste Unlike pretty much everything else. Because here, they take Japanesejuegos sushi cat 1 comfort food, katsu (breaded and fried meat), for example, or karaagebest sushi delivery chelsea london (deep-fried chicken bits) and demean it to the level of a supermarketyo sushi dubai festival city

FROM THE MENUMISO SOUP                         £2.20CHICKEN KARAAGE           £3.60DUCK GYOZA                     £4.10KATSU SELECTION            £5CHOCOLATE DORAYAKI    £4.10 Which means that the yakisoba noodles taste the same as theSeasoned by corporate corner cutting and heartless Chicken katsu is dry and sullen. It has all the charm of bird flu. Karaage manages to have batter that is both overcooked and chewy. It would be slow-handclapped out of KFC. Popcorn tempura shrimp is an insult to popcorn everywhere. batter is soggy and sad and deeply depressing. Well, save the beef tsukune, which look like the GIFT?? More from Tom Parker Bowles Event for The Mail on Sunday... Taco of the town: A blast of Mexico City chilli in the chilly heart of London. Where brisket MEANS brisket: Another bog-standard barbecue joint? No, this place is smokin' The Prawn Supremacy: Dish after dish of fantastic fish – and even my team of experts were in awe

Margot's slice of the good life: This grand new Covent Garden Italian flirts with greatness... and nearly achieves itTOM PARKER BOWLES rounds up the essential tomes for any true foodie's bookshelf Britain’s best value... bar naan! Three great curries with rice at a Big Mac price – Manchester's mad for it I'll never be off my Roka ...so long as it serves not one, but two, of the finest dishes I've ever devoured The taste of Thai fidelity: Authentic roadside cuisine roars into London (without the smell of diesel)After an epic lunch at the TV chef Antony Worrall Thompson's pub, guess who emerges from the kitchen... They have the tang of a fairground beef burger, circa 1978.Then there’s the service. Or rather lack of it. I realise the conveyor belt cuts down on the need for front of house, but with an entire section of the menu only available by ordering from a person with blood, rather than oil, pumping through their veins, you would have thought they could employ more than one person.

Saying that, he was a valiant general manager who not only greets the punters, and answers the phone, and takes orders, and tots up your bill, but occasionally jumps into the middle and makes sushi. He’s easily the best thing about the restaurant. So there we go, a triumph of the utterly, depressingly average, dressed up in J-Pop gear. Everything is fresh and clean and stupefyingly inoffensive. But are our palates so calcified by the bland and mediocre that we no longer care? Am I alone in being offended by this joyless, half-assed excuse of a lunch? The place was packed, so perhaps I am.But after watching those prawns revolve for the sixth time, my friend Bill has had enough. ‘Come on,’ he says with a shrug. ‘Enough of this nonsense. Let’s go for lunch.’Lunch for two, minus drinks: £30 Nobu once had the most coveted tables in London, Nobu Matsuhisa’s Japanese/ Peruvian fusion menu is still packing them in. Don’t miss the classic yellowtail with Jalapeño. LONDONQuaglinosquaglinos-restaurant.co.ukThe cigarette girls, the vast, grand staircase ...