Back to: Miscellaneous Jokes : Food Jokes Two girls: "A tray of sushi, please." Waiter: "To eat or to post photos of on Instagram? What did Sushi A say to Sushi B? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with? Why did Kit Fisto storm out of the sushi restaurant? Because they were serving Mon Calamari. Why is masago orange? Because water makes it rusty. What did the sushi say to the bee? What did the itamae (chef) say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod! What do they put nutella on a salmon roll? When you order salmonella. Why did the vegan start eating sushi? Just for the halibut! Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? What do you call a sushi roll that sings pop music? Why did the duck say bang? Because he wanted a firequacker roll. Why did the little girl want skittles in her sushi? Because she wanted to taste the Rainbow Roll. What do ghosts put in their Philadelphia rolls?

What kind of sushi does Emilia Clarke order? Mother of Dragons roll. What do you call sushi with a tie? What did the blind man say when he passed the sushi restaurant? Yo mama so dumb she thought a tsunami was a kind of Japanese sushi. Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done. Do your panties smell like fish because I like sushi. Me: When you look at your sushi rolls what do you see? Friend: I just seafood (see food) Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song. Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

submissons by: frogsmith, gurbir990, LilyStevensonAs near as we can tell, the whole “sushi burrito thing” started a few years ago. (Pardon us for not being more precise, but we give gimmicky food the same degree of attention we pay to another person’s hemorrhoids.) The first one we ever ate was at a well-regarded Chinatown spot that featured them on a “special burrito menu.”  We ordered a couple for a table of three hungry guys. What came out could’ve fed five NFL linemen. Each was thicker than your fist, half as long as your forearm: ….and packed with a jumble of ingredients that ended up all tasting like the same slop. They were impossible to bite into and a mess in the mouth, not to mention the table. “Absolute shit,” we thought to ourselves. “Who in the fuck likes these?” Everyone, it turns out. People can’t get enough of these alimentary abortions. There are even entire blogs devoted to them. “I really like them,” say our Facebook friends.

You just like the fact that it’s cheap and filling. And the fact that someone had enough sense to smother all of that shit with enough sauce to make you think you’re getting something “tasty.” “Have you tried the ones at Hung Far Too Lo’s MexiCal Sushi Shop, Massage Den and Burrito Factory? “I make a good one,” insists the owner of Pablo’s Foo King Fish and Taco Parlor.You’re just re-packaging shitty fish and cut-rate proteins by surrounding them with a ton of cheap-ass rice, cheap-ass rice paper, or cheap-ass seaweed.sushi new york midtown west And what do you get inside all that cheap-ass starch?fish eggs sushi name Shit fish, fake crab, Sysco meat, and sriracha.iron sushi order online

Boy, do sushi burrito sellers LOVE avocados. “Ooooo, but I really like Jaburritos,” you say. Do you know why you say that? Because you’re a fucking idiot. A brain-dead eating slut who goes wherever some fucked up eating fashion tells you to go. Or a Yelp whore who just wants to be filled up with crap while thinking it’s somehow cool or (god forbid) good for you. Because, you know, sushi is healthy and shit. In many ways, sushi burritos are the ultimate American food: an amalgam of excess rolled in a marketing device.how to cook sushi rice correctly Sushi burritos are indefensible as a foodstuff. food delivery new london nhAnd you’re an asshole if you eat one.sushi go round onlineThisismeSo MeJust MeJust The WaySotrueFunny StuffFunny PicsFunny ShitSo FunnyForwardThis website is for sale! where to buy sushi sets in toronto

freeish.info is your first and best source for all of the information you’re looking for. From general topics to more of what you would expect to find here, freeish.info has it all. We hope you find what you are searching for!January 30, 2008 by clander Regardless if you are vegetarian, vegan, or just guilty about eating meat, all white people love Sushi.  To them, it’s everything they want: foreign culture, expensive, healthy, and hated by the ‘uneducated.’ But there are different levels of white person Sushi love.  At the bottom are the spicy tuna/california roll eaters.  These are the people who get their fix at places named “Rock And Roll!” “Magic Sushi Company,” or Trader Joes-type supermarkets. Often times, this sushi isn’t the most authentic, but white people can’t get enough! The next level up is the entry level Sushi snob, these are people who still love rolls, but are willing to branch out to Salmon and Tuna sashimi, maybe even eel. Finally, you have the white sushi snob. 

These people just take it all way too far.  Often times, they will only sit at the sushi bar, will try to order in Japanese and will only order Omakase.  These people will often be extremely critical of anyone who eats a roll of any type or does not properly flip the nighiri into their mouths. When white people get Sushi they all want to order Sake to complete the authentic experience. So, how can this information be turned into personal gain? White people are obsessed with finding good sushi, therefore if you offer to take them to ‘the best sushi place’ in town, you are sure to have them accept.  If you are asian man, this is an almost no-fail method of getting dates with white girls, and maybe, just maybe joining Bruce Lee and Paul Kariya’s dad. In addition, going out for Sushi is considered a special evening in white person culture.  Not as special as breakfast, but still, it comes with expectations. But what if the person you are interested in is a vegetarian?